I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
