i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
