Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize