Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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