Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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