Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
