Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
