Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
