Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize