my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I could make wine with my vomit
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm passing your future prison.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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