He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize