I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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