So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
