Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
