I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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