we're blogging at a bar
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
