come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
