I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
