This is not my ceiling
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
