Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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