that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
