My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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