I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
How external is "for external use only"?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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