I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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