I like my sex mixed with concussions.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
