??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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