And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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