I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
