He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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