I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
