i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
