when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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