I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
