That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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