Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
