i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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