Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
