Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
