You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
this just has baby written all over it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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