I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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