You just made me feel so damn special
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
