I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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