I got chris browned last night
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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