i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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