he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
