Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
