The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
