You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hope mine doesn't look like that
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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