My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
