brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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