Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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