at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
