So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
