He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
