Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
