I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
