My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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