Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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