Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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