I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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