I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
