If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Couch. On fire.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
