If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
