ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
