we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
